Episode 19: Keys To A Successful Business Launch W/ Executive Business Coach Arlene Moss
October 4, 2023
Links:
PeaceLink Financial Planning
XYPN Arlene Moss
Transcript
Leland Gross (00:01.418)
All right, welcome Arlene Moss to the Self-Employment Success podcast. Thanks for being here.
Arlene Moss - XYPN (she/her) (00:06.17)
Oh my gosh, Leland, thanks for having me. This is great. I'm excited.
Leland Gross (00:09.05)
Yeah, I'm really excited for today's conversation. For the listeners, Arlene has had a huge impact on my own business. I was pumping her up a few minutes ago, just telling her all the ways that her nuggets of wisdom have helped me. And so I'm really excited for to get to share her with all of you. And so Arlene, start off by telling us who you are and what you do.
Arlene Moss - XYPN (she/her) (00:31.474)
I am an XYPN, I'm the executive business coach, which means I help numbers like you and all of our, golly, 1700 something members as they build and grow their businesses. So I work some one-on-one, some group coaching, some training, all kinds of good stuff. But I have worked in that space since 2004.
Though I won't bore you with my full origin story. Suffice it to say, I worked, I had kids, I came back to the workforce, and that's where we begin, is me returning to the workforce. Part-time admin, I used to joke, if I could find a job in my dining room, I would go back to work, and then darn if, actually, an XYP member, Linda Leitz, was like, hey.
I found a job you can do in your dining room, sucka. So I went back to work. It was perfect. It was like nap time hours and my youngest was little, but it was for ACP, the Alliance of Comprehensive Planners, which is also a fee only financial planning group. And I worked in their training department. I was just an admin making copies. This is all you get hard copy binders and stuff. But of course, you know, you read what you're copying. And then I worked with the instructors.
Leland Gross (01:25.476)
Hahaha
Leland Gross (01:47.086)
lost.
Arlene Moss - XYPN (she/her) (01:52.014)
And as my life grew and I had more time to work, my boss was like, great, because we have more work for you and you have skills we need. So they pulled in, I have a marketing and information systems background. So they actually pulled in both of those. But then about 2008, I was ready to go full time. And they wanted to launch a coaching program. And they said, look, you've been helping members. We think you're going to be perfect at this.
you know all the training materials. So a lot of my stuff is on the job training. I did long ago in a prior life, I took a series seven, but we don't need to talk about that today. That was a long, long time ago. But it was just this perfect blend of, I'm ready to work more, great, we have more challenges. And it was just this stair step.
Leland Gross (02:30.291)
Hahaha
Arlene Moss - XYPN (she/her) (02:44.602)
So long story short, that went on. It was beautiful, wonderful. And in about 2013, I want to say, I said, you know what? I'm going to take the parts of my job that I absolutely love, which is the coaching of the financial planners. And I'm going to launch my own coaching business. So off I went, jumped in. Alan Moore and I were already friends. And so he was like, hey, we want you to do some contract work for XY.
So honestly, that was wonderful because it cash flowed me that first year, jumping from salary to zero. He kind of threw me a little life raft. And I, oh my gosh, I quoted him the worst. I don't even want to think about how low my rate was. It was so every time I harass you people about how you should charge what you're worth, because I know the pain of not doing it. And we laughed to this day about.
Leland Gross (03:30.534)
I'm like, what the fuck did I do?
Leland Gross (03:37.535)
I'm out.
Arlene Moss - XYPN (she/her) (03:42.45)
what a sucker I was. But you know what? It paid some bills. It got me through that first year. It was great. So fast forward a couple years and I realized, oh, I love entrepreneurs. I love coaching entrepreneurs. They're wonderful. You know what I don't wanna be? An entrepreneur. So, by that time, I saw I had grown.
Leland Gross (04:04.578)
Hahaha
Arlene Moss - XYPN (she/her) (04:09.65)
They were looking to incorporate a business coach. Alan and I, of course, I was still doing contract work for them, staying in touch. And he came to me and he's like, "'Would you think of working for us?' And funny story, I don't wanna take the whole thing on my origin story, because it's not that great, but I had done a vision board. I don't know, that may sound really woo-woo to your listeners. It was definitely woo-woo to me. I did it just to get the woman that did them off my back, because we were friends and colleagues.
Leland Gross (04:30.381)
You know?
Leland Gross (04:37.012)
Thank you.
Arlene Moss - XYPN (she/her) (04:37.274)
at all these networking events. And she was always like, I gotta get you to do my vision boarding. And finally I was like, oh my God, I'll just do it. Ugh, this is dumb. And I did it. And I painted this amazing picture. Like what I envisioned was so different than what my conscious mind was envisioning. And basically I look back on it now and what I envisioned was X, Y, P, N. Like, so when I had that opportunity to jump on board, it was wonderful. So anyway, that's my story.
Leland Gross (04:43.598)
I'm going to go ahead and close the video.
Leland Gross (05:01.394)
Mmm.
Arlene Moss - XYPN (she/her) (05:07.898)
I love working with solo entrepreneurs, boutique firms. I really specialize in that smaller space. So here we are a gazillion years later and I'm working with XYPN and loving it.
Leland Gross (05:19.566)
Hehehe
Leland Gross (05:22.942)
I love that. So for listeners, XYPN stands for XY Planning Network. It is a network for basically fee only financial planners who are also entrepreneurs. And so it's been such an incredible resource for me. It's a huge reason why I decided to go out on my own and have been able to do that successfully. And Arlene within that realm, as she said, is kind of the executive business coach.
She offers business coaching to help kind of not only dream and envision what do I want my business to look like, but how do I do it? Where am I getting stuck? Where do I need a problem solve? And so she has been instrumental for my business, but the things she teaches and coaches on are for entrepreneurs, not necessarily financial advisors specifically, which is why I think she's so valuable. And...
Like you said, you've had the taste of entrepreneurship yourself to know, hey, these are the highs, these are the lows, these are, and entrepreneurship isn't for every single person, you know? And I think that's a really powerful realization to come to. So for you, I would love to know, you know, for someone who is in that launching phase, you've worked with literally thousands of us now. What are-
Arlene Moss - XYPN (she/her) (06:49.022)
not count. It makes me sound too old if we start counting.
Leland Gross (06:54.116)
What would you say or like what keys to success would you give? Like things that you've seen so many times that are like, hey these are the things you need to be thinking about or these are the common hangups I find and how I would love to address that.
Arlene Moss - XYPN (she/her) (07:09.61)
There's so many, you know, we were talking ahead of time that this could be like a five hour podcast. But first thing is I have, it is so rare. I won't say I've never run into it, but it is a very, very rare day that I run into someone who's like, man, I wish I had waited a couple of years to do this. I did it too soon. No one says that. Almost universally. They're like, oh, I should have done this earlier.
Leland Gross (07:15.012)
I'm going to go to bed.
Leland Gross (07:31.15)
Mmm. Hehehehe.
Leland Gross (07:37.646)
Hmm.
Arlene Moss - XYPN (she/her) (07:38.338)
In fact, I had an interesting conversation with a guy, I had a conference recently and he's thinking about launching on his own, da da, he's got a good job. And, but you know, but it's not his dream. And he's like, oh, I know someday I'm going to do this. He goes, but I'm really not that unhappy. And I looked at him, I said, did you know you don't have to be miserable to launch your firm, you're allowed to launch your firm and
Leland Gross (07:56.298)
Mmm.
Leland Gross (08:03.328)
Hehehe
Arlene Moss - XYPN (she/her) (08:07.55)
be relatively happy at the same time. And it was this light bulb. He was like, oh my gosh, you're right. And I don't, it was just like, yeah, go ahead and do it. So that's the big first one. The second one, which brings in financial reality is have some money. And that can come in a lot of different forms. Many, many people, it comes in the form of a spouse or a partner that has that solid W-2.
Leland Gross (08:10.53)
You're welcome.
Leland Gross (08:14.67)
I'm out.
Leland Gross (08:20.49)
Mmm.
Arlene Moss - XYPN (she/her) (08:36.158)
For me, that was my story. Nice, solid W-2 guy with benefits and all the happy things. But for some, if you don't have that partner, you need the finances. You need to have some money in the bank. People will say, oh, yeah, you need your emergency fund. But you know what? Starting your own business isn't an emergency. And so people get this disconnect in their head. But have that fund of do what I want money.
Leland Gross (08:42.157)
Mm.
Leland Gross (09:04.494)
Mm-hmm.
Arlene Moss - XYPN (she/her) (09:05.766)
Or do it part-time, have a side hustle, keep your day job. I work with people that do that all the time. They've got their 40 hours a week at the day job and then part-time they're building and then slowly but surely we shift. So that day job can be whatever you've been doing. Some people deliver pizza, like you can, whatever you want. So think about the finances because there's gonna be a lot of stress. This is not.
Leland Gross (09:21.242)
Mm-hmm.
Leland Gross (09:33.619)
Mm-hmm.
Arlene Moss - XYPN (she/her) (09:34.67)
like skipping through a field of daisies. Okay. This is going to be hard work. And the last thing you need is also the money issues of, am I going to pay the mortgage? Am I going to pay the rent? So those are kind of the two. That's the balancing act. That's the biggie.
Leland Gross (09:36.834)
Hehehe
Leland Gross (09:47.406)
Totally.
Leland Gross (09:51.47)
And on that thought, I would just say like, when I work with entrepreneurs, having the money saved or having an income stream, the chances of success of your business are higher because you have a longer runway. If you only have a three to six month long emergency fund, you're going to need to get that business completely successful in an unrealistic amount of time. And so I just totally agree with that. There's a lot of ways you can spin it.
but making sure you have something in the plan. Like having, I mean, I'm a financial planner. Having a financial plan to make sure we have a runway that's realistic and long enough so that your business can succeed.
Arlene Moss - XYPN (she/her) (10:33.51)
Yeah, and no matter what business you're in, do your research on what your runway looks like. Now, I can speak to a financial planner runway in general, but even that varies depending on how much your clients are going to be paying, how quickly you're planning to onboard. You're a classic example of your results may vary. I just know your story, 45 clients, 18 months.
That is not a typical number I would quote to someone if I were telling them to start up in financial planning. But now for anyone listening who's like, but I was gonna start a nail salon or I was gonna open a restaurant, I don't have knowledge on that, so do your research. Do your research listener. Figure out what is a logical runway for you. I can, again, I can say, hey, first year as a financial planner,
Leland Gross (11:03.938)
Mmm.
Leland Gross (11:17.934)
Hmm.
Arlene Moss - XYPN (she/her) (11:28.902)
you're generally going to be digging a financial hole. Maybe you're going to flatline. That'd be lovely. And then the next year, you're going to be like, yay, let's put this money in the hole I dug last year. And you're not until year three to year five, that's when you're going to start to see some money. But the data show that year five is when you pay yourself what you used to be making. It's not just super quick. Again, I know you're like, what? I'm doing great.
Leland Gross (11:39.586)
Hehehe
Leland Gross (11:51.612)
Mmm.
Leland Gross (11:57.362)
I've worked in the benchmark studies and I feel so grateful and fortunate that I have had some quicker success to that. But I do. Yeah, I mean, I think those numbers are totally realistic in the financial planning world. I think that's realistic, even if you're not starting your own business in the financial planning world, just becoming a financial planner and starting a book of business, even as an employee planner, oftentimes it takes a couple of years to build that. And so.
Arlene Moss - XYPN (she/her) (11:59.902)
Ha ha!
Arlene Moss - XYPN (she/her) (12:23.271)
Yeah.
Leland Gross (12:25.474)
But yeah, I think just that point of every industry is going to have a runway. Like you're going to be a wedding photographer. Like, you know, how quickly can you book weddings and what does that typically look like? That might be faster than, you know, you're starting a gas station. I don't know. Like, every industry is going to have a runway.
Arlene Moss - XYPN (she/her) (12:40.71)
Yeah, yeah, it's, my brother-in-law used to be a wedding photographer, it's funny you used that example. And so I watched that runway and I was like, well, that's not pretty. So that's a lot of work.
Leland Gross (12:52.595)
Yeah. And so just knowing that and have, I love that balance of don't wait, just do it. Like, you don't have to wait till you're so miserable to leave something. You can be going towards something. You can be happy and then like leveling up going towards something and have a financial, like, don't be an idiot about it. Like, have...
Have a financial runway, like have some research, you know what I mean?
Arlene Moss - XYPN (she/her) (13:19.621)
He said that I didn't. I try not to say it in exactly those words. At least not in my out loud voice. That might be what's in my head.
Leland Gross (13:22.858)
Yeah, well, I just remember I gave myself a year or two to really think through what do I want to do? And there were days where I'd come home from my old job and be like, I almost quit today. And like there's days where I'm like, screw it, I'm going for it. But it's like, I'm going to fail if I'm doing that and I'm not prepared. And so there's, you know, there's that give and take. There's kind of a sweet balance of...
Arlene Moss - XYPN (she/her) (13:43.012)
Yeah.
Leland Gross (13:52.13)
Don't let paralysis stop you and go into it sober-minded probably.
Arlene Moss - XYPN (she/her) (13:58.022)
Yeah, yeah. But you know, by starting, before you get to that screw it, I'm quitting stage, you know you're taking steps, which frankly makes it a little easier to tolerate whatever's going on in that day job. Cause you're like, this isn't forever. This isn't my life. This isn't my real life. This is just paying the bills. And here I go. And that's a great combination too. So.
Leland Gross (14:13.582)
that's so true.
Leland Gross (14:19.734)
So true.
Leland Gross (14:23.25)
Yeah, I love that. What else? I mean, you're filled with nuggle. Hit us with them.
Arlene Moss - XYPN (she/her) (14:28.738)
What else? What? Oh my gosh. Okay, here I was joking with you before that like I cannot, I think there's probably even a clause in my employment contract that I cannot get on a podcast without mentioning niche. If you've listened to anything with XIPN, it's practically a drinking game because we talk about it so much. And this applies to any industry. Know your client.
Leland Gross (14:39.066)
Hehehehe
Leland Gross (14:47.473)
Hehehehehehe
Arlene Moss - XYPN (she/her) (14:56.626)
And I'll try to use an example that doesn't go down the financial path, but then I'll lean on what I really know. But like even a restaurant, know who you want to come in your restaurant. Do you want the folks that want the early bird special and are coming in and they're teetotalers? Well then, you know what? Open yourself a village in. Like that's what you need. Free pie Wednesday, go for it. I am on board. If you want 20 somethings.
Leland Gross (15:08.331)
Mm-hmm.
Arlene Moss - XYPN (she/her) (15:25.842)
to come in and it's their extra community and their, you know, it's their third space. You know what? I don't think Village Inn is going to work for you. And I, no shade to Village Inn. Okay. That's the, that's the whole point here is that there's a Village Inn person and then there's the, shoot, I'm going to use local stuff, which doesn't mean anything to anybody, but 503 West. I just love this, this little bar restaurant anyway, but you need to know, you need to have that avatar of yes, this is.
Leland Gross (15:37.316)
Hehehehehehe
Arlene Moss - XYPN (she/her) (15:54.858)
this is who I'm looking for. They're between these ages and they shop in these places and they like this kind of stuff. And the more you know, the better you can do figuring out what you're going to offer talking to that person, whether it's on your website, whether it's your marketing materials, whether it's content you're putting out to the world in your social media. It's how you decorate. Think about it. Sticking with my ridiculous village in example,
Leland Gross (15:56.735)
Mm-hmm.
Leland Gross (16:04.801)
Mm-hmm.
Leland Gross (16:20.117)
Mm-hmm.
Arlene Moss - XYPN (she/her) (16:25.138)
that's one kind of decor, right? Like I can remember my grandmother would go places and like the big thing she would say was, oh, that's so nice and clean. And I'm like, really? That's the best you got to say? And okay, that seems like the bar's low grandma, but you know what? You do you. And you know, there are just different things you want people to say about you. And so, you know, and feel about you. And you just need to think about that for everything you do.
Leland Gross (16:33.57)
Hehehe
Leland Gross (16:41.678)
You
Leland Gross (16:55.31)
Mm-hmm.
Arlene Moss - XYPN (she/her) (16:55.85)
And the more you do that from the beginning, the easier it's going to be for you to reach out. The casting a broad net is just not, it just isn't as, as valuable as you might think. You know, and now I'm going to shift to what I do know, which is financial planning. If I just say, hey, I work with individuals and families to do your finances. What does that mean? What do you know about me? No, no, no. You want to say.
Leland Gross (17:21.57)
Mm-hmm.
Arlene Moss - XYPN (she/her) (17:24.774)
I work with folks in their 30s who have lots of student loan debt and are trying to start a family and balance beginning their career and maybe they want to buy a house and you know you're picturing this person and you know what their pain is, you know what their needs are, you can talk to them. So your blog content or your podcast, I mean this is a perfect example. You're you know you're bringing on people that speak to.
Leland Gross (17:49.922)
Mm-hmm.
Arlene Moss - XYPN (she/her) (17:54.818)
entrepreneurs and starting a business, you're not bringing on... I can't even think of a good example. Sorry, that analogy is down the tubes. Oh, well, sometimes I fail when I'm laying it. So that's probably a big thing. But again, I'm always the flip side, right? I was like, just do it, but also have money. This is know your client, really get a niche. Oh, flip side, don't be perfect.
Leland Gross (17:57.142)
Mm-hmm.
Leland Gross (18:05.684)
We got it.
Arlene Moss - XYPN (she/her) (18:24.07)
You're going to figure it out as you go. So have a good idea, have a place to start, but also don't just sit there behind your desk looking for everything to be absolutely perfect. Get on with it. We, I say oftentimes, you don't look for clients under your desk or sometimes they'll say, have you been looking for clients in the trash can again? Because that's not where they are. They're out of your office. Get your butt in gear and go find them. And people will...
Leland Gross (18:26.636)
Mm-hmm.
Arlene Moss - XYPN (she/her) (18:53.962)
Tell me, well, you had an example, somebody who's working, working on their process. That's for those of you who have never worked with a financial planner, and you should, by the way. They have a process from the moment you say, hey, you're a financial planner, I might like to work with you. They have a process of helping you learn if you're a good fit and if you're the right client for their firm. And then you say, heck yeah, I am. Yay, sign me up. And then they have a process for onboarding you.
Leland Gross (18:59.118)
Mm-hmm.
Arlene Moss - XYPN (she/her) (19:22.782)
helping learn about you and your problems and your issues. And then they create this beautiful financial plan and it's all this cool process. And to be a business owner, it needs to be replicable so that you're efficient, but also it doesn't have to be perfect. And I will meet people that are so busy making the perfect process. But they don't have anybody to go through the process. And you know what's gonna help you figure out your process?
Leland Gross (19:33.822)
Mmm. Mmm-hmm.
Leland Gross (19:44.386)
Mm-hmm.
Hehehe
Arlene Moss - XYPN (she/her) (19:52.19)
Having a client go through it. So get the client, stay one step ahead of them, and figure it out. And yeah, it's not going to be perfect. It's going to take you longer than it normally would. You're going to see things you would do differently the second time. That's okay. Go get client number two. Here they go. You make those changes and you keep evolving. So don't be perfect. Oh my gosh, that's, I'd meet up on her sticker.
Leland Gross (19:54.977)
Yo!
Leland Gross (20:16.086)
oh my gosh, to both of those points. So like the rich are in the niches, we know it. And you mentioned like not only does it create like a clearer, hey, I'm a right fit for this advisor because they're speaking to me, but if I'm working with anybody under the sun, I have a client at 8 a.m. who were, you know, about to file for social security. I have a client at 10 a.m. who were setting up a 529 plan for their kids. And it's just like,
everything is so disjointed and everyone's situation will have unique complexities, but to be able to whatever your business is have those repeatable processes to be to know this is my client, you know, I work with younger people, I understand social security, I don't, we're not filing for it, not most days, you know, like that's not my ideal client. And so I just think like knowing that allows you to not only go
deeper with your clients or provide a better service to those, again, no matter what your industry is, it also just allows you to be hyper efficient and therefore to be able to serve more people. But there's that natural fear of, well, if I say I work with these people, then I don't work with all these other people. And then I will be destitute under the gutter because I won't get enough people. And you're like, well, you know.
That's not, there's enough people to go around.
Arlene Moss - XYPN (she/her) (21:44.763)
There's, oh my gosh, that, absolutely. And our data, again, leaning on our benchmarking and the industry benchmarking, our data show that you get more money. You make more money when you're in a niche because people will pay for expertise. Now, I pay more when I go to the orthopedist than I do when I go to my GP. You know, same kind of a concept. Like, you're wonderful. I would send my children to you.
Leland Gross (21:59.071)
Mm-hmm
Leland Gross (22:03.974)
Thank you.
Arlene Moss - XYPN (she/her) (22:12.398)
in a hot minute because you're, you're them. I think they all already have financial planners. But I, I would not go to you for exactly the point. Like we're at this stage where we're like, oh my God, retirement is actually a thing that's going to happen. Like we have friends who don't work anymore. Like it's there. Like it's not right here, but.
Leland Gross (22:15.79)
Thank you. Can I get that in writing?
Leland Gross (22:22.56)
Okay, it's a joke. It's a joke.
Arlene Moss - XYPN (she/her) (22:41.63)
Oh my God, this is terrifying. How do we unpack it? How do we, I don't know. I don't know any of that. So we're gonna go to someone who does. And back to, yeah. And back to the business owner side of it. You always have to do research, right? There's always continuing ed and just having best practices and the latest thing, no matter what industry you're in, whether it's, you know,
Leland Gross (22:51.882)
Yeah, who worked with people in that stage of life.
Arlene Moss - XYPN (she/her) (23:08.362)
car mechanic or a financial planner. And you want to be able to focus in on the topics you love. That is absolutely okay. My neighbor works only on like two kinds of cars. He's a car mechanic and he owns two kinds. Like if I take a Ford over there, he's gonna be like, cool, here's my buddy Steve. He works on Fords. I don't work on Fords. Look at the name of my business.
Leland Gross (23:16.076)
Mm-hmm
Mm.
Leland Gross (23:32.812)
I'm sorry.
Arlene Moss - XYPN (she/her) (23:37.042)
Does it say anything about Ford's? No, it does not. And that's how, you know, that's how you want a financial planner to be any business so that you can be like, yeah, I love 529s. I love college planning. If I can like get bargains for college funding for my clients, I am a happy camper. If I can have my clients save so much money that they just skate through the college years with no pain, yay me.
Leland Gross (23:57.162)
Mm-hmm.
Arlene Moss - XYPN (she/her) (24:04.058)
Social Security unpacking and Medicare and how, what are the tax ramifications when you retire? That might be a yawn fest for you. And that's absolutely okay. Since you don't serve those people, ha ha, now you never have to do that research. You don't have to know. You just need to know that Sharon down the road loves Medicare stuff. Off you go to her.
Leland Gross (24:18.13)
Yeah, I know.
Leland Gross (24:26.35)
Totally. That has been the most freeing thing in my last firm. We were the, if you have a pulse, we're going to work with you. And there are so many people where I'm like, every time they show up on my calendar, I'm just dreading it. Cause it's just not fun. Like what they need is not fun. But moving into XYPN and starting my own firm and having that ability, like you said, to say, who is my ideal client avatar? Who do I like to serve? How do I speak to them?
I've yet to have a situation where people show up on my calendar and I'm like, ugh, like this is gonna be so like pulling teeth because I've gotten to work, choose who I work with and be able to specify this is who I serve, this is who I can deliver a lot of value to and who I like to, that value I deliver. And again, I think all industries are doing it. It's just, we don't think about it when we're starting our business. Like eventually you'll start,
Like, even if you start general, you'll find more and more, you kind of, if you don't choose a niche intentionally, you'll fall into one, unnaturally, you know?
Arlene Moss - XYPN (she/her) (25:31.506)
Right, right. Yeah, it'll just come about. But also you mentioned, if people have a pulse or people will talk about the fog of mirror test, sometimes somebody is gonna come along and they're not in what you defined as your ideal, but you're gonna click and you'll be like, you know what, I'm gonna work with this person. I like this person. And that's okay. That may be your entry into another niche where suddenly,
Leland Gross (25:42.606)
Mm-hmm.
Leland Gross (25:56.618)
Mm-hmm.
Arlene Moss - XYPN (she/her) (26:00.554)
You're like, oh, I really click with college professors. I did not know that. And then all of a sudden, you realize, because referrals happen and word gets out, then suddenly you have college professors. And I've seen that happen time and again, where it's this drift, this shifting, because your clients are gonna refer you, and the ones you click with will refer others. So.
Leland Gross (26:16.774)
Mmm.
Leland Gross (26:28.686)
Mm-hmm.
Arlene Moss - XYPN (she/her) (26:30.578)
So don't be afraid to say yes to people if you wanna work with them. But also if ever you have that dread on your calendar, that's the person you need to graduate to another thing.
Leland Gross (26:43.643)
that's your mind and body and heart telling you like, this isn't it. You started the business to pursue your own dreams and this is clearly not that dream being fulfilled.
Arlene Moss - XYPN (she/her) (26:49.458)
Yeah, yeah.
Arlene Moss - XYPN (she/her) (26:56.026)
And I've had that happen a few times where, you know, cause almost every lesson I ever teach, I like to experience it just for fun. And taking someone that like, you know, maybe on paper, it looked like it should be a good fit, but there's, you know, the back of my mind, I was like, I don't know, we're not clicking, but I'm like, no, I'll get over it. And then you don't get over it. Usually the not getting over it is kind of mutual. And so if it's a really bad fit,
Leland Gross (27:05.459)
Hehehe
Leland Gross (27:23.297)
Mmm.
Arlene Moss - XYPN (she/her) (27:26.11)
That person's feeling that. And I've had several where I say, you know what? You deserve better. And we are not clicking the way I think you deserve. So here are four coaches I think would be better for you. And usually by that time, by the time I'm willing to say, I can't do it, I know enough about them that I can pick from my roster of people I know. I mean, like, you know.
Leland Gross (27:28.533)
Mm-hmm.
Leland Gross (27:33.834)
Mmm.
Leland Gross (27:53.409)
Mm-hmm.
Arlene Moss - XYPN (she/her) (27:55.93)
I think you would work better with Elizabeth or whoever. And I've had that happen a couple, maybe three times, so not very many, but they've always been kind of grateful. Like, oh, I thought it was just me. That's the thing. I thought maybe I just didn't like coaching. I'm like, no, it's us. It's not a blame game. It's just like, yeah, we're not clicking right, are we? Let's give you, and that's lovely. You're wishing that person the best.
Leland Gross (28:05.372)
Mm-hmm.
Leland Gross (28:20.918)
Yeah.
Arlene Moss - XYPN (she/her) (28:24.914)
but you're also honoring the fact that you deserve the best.
Leland Gross (28:27.834)
Mm hmm. I love that. Something you said earlier about, um, like creating a process and, you know, a you need to know your client to have a process that works for that client. But there's such a give and take there. I love that you were saying like the best way to create your process is to have someone go through it because you're going to find the road bumps. You're going to find the things that work and don't work. And I have a buddy who started
Arlene Moss - XYPN (she/her) (28:30.674)
Yeah.
Leland Gross (28:56.73)
a similar firm to me and it was almost six months in and he was like, I'm still trying to figure out how my process is going to work. And when we asked them like, well, what is your process? Like how has it worked thus far? He was like, well, I haven't had anybody go through it. I'm trying to get it perfect before, you know, someone comes through. And I was like, oh my gosh, man, you just need to get it. You just need to get people in the door and people in seats. And there's that analysis paralysis and you, I mean,
Arlene Moss - XYPN (she/her) (29:25.898)
Mm-hmm.
Leland Gross (29:26.402)
When I was launching, I bet you probably don't even remember this, but I was like, you know, there's a million different client relationship manager tools, CRM tools. I'm like, you know, trying to demo every single one. I'm spending way too much time looking at each integration we have. And you were like, you know, you can just choose one and down the line of it's not working, you can switch, but like you need a CRM tool. So just pick one and like, don't get too caught up in that.
And that has been something that stuck with me even yesterday. I was doing a financial plan delivery and I had, you know, thought maybe I'm going to change up how I do this. I'm going to change my deliverable and did it. And I think the client doesn't know any different and really enjoyed it. But for me, I was like, I think the old process actually works better. And so I'm just going to keep it. I don't need to change what I don't need to fix a broken thing. But having the freedom to say I need processes.
but also the freedom to say, I don't have to be perfect the day I open the doors. Like I can open the doors and start working and the business is a living and growing thing because I'm a living and growing person. And so, you know, process can change, niche can change. Like how I move through things with people can modify. And almost in order to do that, you need to have people coming through the door to see what's not working. Because in your head you build up
Well, if I do this and I do this meeting and this is how I run this meeting and these are the questions I ask and this is the deliverable, in your head you're painting this beautiful picture and then someone's gonna come in and it's gonna crash course 10 times and you're like, oh wait, that was not nearly as smooth as I thought it was gonna be and that's totally normal, totally fine and you can pivot then.
Arlene Moss - XYPN (she/her) (31:13.33)
Yes.
Arlene Moss - XYPN (she/her) (31:19.847)
Oh my gosh, that, oh my gosh, yeah. Clients will help you figure out what's wrong with your process for sure. You touched on so much there. I wanna unpack that a little bit because you just hit like four awesome bullets and I'm not even sure you realized you did that. So first off on the technology, pick it and go. I don't want it to be, I don't wanna be too glib about that, but also.
Leland Gross (31:37.866)
again.
Arlene Moss - XYPN (she/her) (31:46.234)
Yeah, set yourself a time limit. And it depends on kind of what the thing is. I've had people freeze for ridiculous amounts of time just picking a template for a website that they're gonna do themselves. And I'm like, oh, my friend, no, you set a timer of 30 minutes. You have 30 minutes to pick a template for your website and then move along. Because fun fact, that website's gonna last you like a year or two and you're gonna get a new one. So it isn't worth the time.
Leland Gross (32:12.971)
I'm sorry.
Arlene Moss - XYPN (she/her) (32:15.774)
But like the CRM, the kind of the heart of your business technology. Yes, it's important. It absolutely is. But also, most of them do really similar things. You had an interesting situation because you were an XYP member. So you have this organization that is saying, hey, we've done some vetting. Here's one we recommend. Just move on. If there's an organization like that for your listeners, for whatever their business is,
Leland Gross (32:33.303)
Hmm.
Arlene Moss - XYPN (she/her) (32:45.694)
then yeah, I would say go with it. Go with, again, Mitch. I remember long ago I was working with my hairdresser who was trying to get more organized. There are CRMs for hairdressers who are designed specifically so that like what you get a certain dye job and there's a formula, you put those notes in and it had all kinds of crazy stuff in it that I wouldn't have thought of. I just thought she was a genius who knew how to cut my hair every time. She's still wonderful.
Leland Gross (33:08.249)
Mm-hmm.
Leland Gross (33:12.853)
Nope, she's like, Arlene's coming in and I look at Arlene's profile and I know what we do, you know.
Arlene Moss - XYPN (she/her) (33:17.59)
Yes, yes. But obviously, we're saving different things. So go ahead with the ones that specialize in your area. Pick it. And if it isn't quite right later, you can move. It's not that big of a deal. The other thing, and I think you mentioned this, but what I call shiny object syndrome, and I didn't make that up, like lots of people call it shiny object syndrome, but have a space in your life for your shiny objects.
Leland Gross (33:40.366)
Hehehe
Arlene Moss - XYPN (she/her) (33:44.922)
I generally tell people quarterly at the most as they get more established, maybe even every six months, but don't find a solution in search of a problem. Make sure you, because that happens all the time. Oh my God, I went to this conference and I saw this cool thing for estate planning. Like, well, are you having any trouble with your estate planning? No, but it was so cool. Like, do you need that? No, you do not.
Leland Gross (33:57.295)
Mmm.
Leland Gross (34:09.803)
Hehehe
Leland Gross (34:13.33)
Yeah. Oh, that's mean.
Arlene Moss - XYPN (she/her) (34:14.314)
You know, so, but I know it's so many people, you're not alone. But at the same time, like there are cool technologies, technologies move so quickly. So, OK, put it into shiny object time. Every quarter, you could spend a whole day just playing and looking at new technology and figuring out, but come at it with this approach of, OK, what are my problems? What are my pain points? I don't feel like I'm as efficient on estate planning as I need to be.
Leland Gross (34:39.701)
Mm-hmm.
Arlene Moss - XYPN (she/her) (34:44.234)
but I saw these two different estate planning things at the conference, I'm gonna go look at how they might be able to help me and be more intentional about your shiny object time. So that was, I feel like, okay, there were so many things you touched on, oh my gosh, now I'm freezing. I think I covered the ones I wanted to hit, but I probably didn't, so keep checking.
Leland Gross (34:54.054)
Hmm
Leland Gross (35:04.322)
Well, on the shiny object thing, I'm like, I see that with my clients in all different industries, you know, like people being like, you know, I paid for this like sales lead generator that they say they're going to give me like X amount of leads per month and I spend all this money. It's like, well, I'm looking at your business. It's growing really fast. You have a lot of leads. Like, are you, do you need that many? And are they going to be junk leads? You know, like, and they pay for it and they're like, oh, wait.
now I'm just spending all this money on this thing and it's not really panning out. And like I essentially either created a problem or tried to solve for a problem that doesn't exist. I love that thought. Like I'm totally, I was telling these two of my really close friends recently, I was like, I need to stop listening to financial advisor podcasts because, or just put boundaries on it because I just absorb it all the time. And everyone has their like...
I have this Facebook community that I created. I use this software. I have this, and I'm like, yes, I clearly need to have, what am I doing? I don't have a Twitter community and a Facebook community, and I don't, you know, like, have 10 different CRMs that all work differently. You know, like, I get so caught up in all those things. I'm like, I just need to do three things well. And what are the things that I actually like to do and like can execute on to provide value?
Arlene Moss - XYPN (she/her) (36:17.369)
Mm-hmm.
Leland Gross (36:28.67)
And like you said, create a shiny objects box. You could even put that in your CRM. In my CRM, I have a project that's like ideas. And I can go in and make notes of like, these are ideas. And then, once a year, when I'm doing my business review, I can sit down and say, what do I wanna stop doing? What do I wanna start doing? What do I wanna keep doing? And is there anything in the shiny object box that can help me do those things? But I love...
the shiny object syndrome. I think that's like just so real.
Arlene Moss - XYPN (she/her) (37:04.09)
It's so, it's so common. And, but you make a point like, you know, do, do three things and do them really well. And I had a client who stole something from a Chicago baseball team that throws balls on a field and hits them with a stick. Oh my God. I'm drawing a blank. Anyway, um, it doesn't matter, but the manager said, you know, something along the lines of do simple well, and even that I'm paraphrasing badly. I am so sorry, Chicago. I'm failing you.
Leland Gross (37:19.542)
Hmm. Facebook?
Leland Gross (37:29.262)
Hmm.
Leland Gross (37:33.188)
Hehehehehehe
Arlene Moss - XYPN (she/her) (37:34.15)
I live in Colorado. I am so sorry. God, Fair First Village and now the entire Chicagoland area. I'm gonna go down in flames on this podcast. Oh my gosh. I'm assuming. I just drew this little blank. I'm like, do they wear socks? Are they named after an animal? Like I just drew a blank. Oh my gosh. So sorry.
Leland Gross (37:45.113)
Are you trying for the cubs?
Leland Gross (37:52.991)
I'm just like, it sounds like baseball, but it's real balls, I had almost a...
Leland Gross (38:02.158)
That is so...
Arlene Moss - XYPN (she/her) (38:04.278)
Oh, goodness gracious. See, that would have been a good, you know, that's a good question, Leland moment, which you didn't ask me a question, but I should have tried to use that anyway to gather my thoughts. Anywho, do simple well is the bottom line there. I drew that whole story out way longer than it needed to be. But what you mentioned, Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, dah, dah. I love this because we get to circle back to niche. Figure out where your people are.
Leland Gross (38:14.47)
Hahaha
Leland Gross (38:33.808)
Mmm
Arlene Moss - XYPN (she/her) (38:33.938)
And fun fact, not that many of them are on Twitter. There are absolutely people who are building their business on Twitter. And I love the olden days Twitter a lot. So I am on board with that. But figure out where your people are and go where they are. If they're on Facebook, then get your butt over there. Make a Facebook community if you want.
Leland Gross (38:53.718)
Hmm
Arlene Moss - XYPN (she/her) (39:00.898)
If they're on Instagram, Instagram is just super duper popular. But not for everyone. So, you know, grandmas, you know, if you're working primarily with the grandma crowd, no, not on Insta. That's not where they're going. So, figure that out and don't try to be all things to all people. And honor what you like to do. Like, if you don't like Twitter, don't do it. I don't care. It doesn't matter. Figure out something else. There's another solution.
Leland Gross (39:07.022)
Mm-hmm.
Leland Gross (39:15.595)
Hehehehehehe
Leland Gross (39:23.033)
Mm-hmm.
Leland Gross (39:27.966)
No one's missing you on Twitter. No one's like, why hasn't this person created a Twitter account before? You know?
Arlene Moss - XYPN (she/her) (39:34.438)
Right, right. Yeah, well, every once in a while, I am when I want customer service, but that's another story for another podcast. But you're right, just be where you want to be. This is a perfect example, podcast. Some people would just like, oh no, that's one of the circles of hell. Please don't put me on camera. Please don't make me talk for an hour. Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, I can't do it.
Leland Gross (39:41.066)
Hehehehe
Arlene Moss - XYPN (she/her) (40:00.146)
But you say, okay, then write me a 2000 word blog every week. And they'll be like, oh, that's my happy place. I'm going to make a latte. I'm going to bang out 2000 words and all is right with the world. That's okay. Do, do your thing.
Leland Gross (40:15.454)
Yeah, I felt like I needed a blog and I tried and I was like, I can do it. I hate it. And then I'm like, I binge listen to podcasts. Clearly I can talk. I'm not like a man of few words. That's like the opposite problem. And so I was like, this is it. Like I'm relational. I like to talk to people. I love hearing people's stories. Let's do that, you know, and it's so fun.
Like I get to spend my morning with Arlene Maas and like get almost a refresher coaching course through this podcast. It's awesome.
Arlene Moss - XYPN (she/her) (40:53.918)
You can all kinds of fun affirmations. So, you know, I told you that I could not make it through a podcast without an Eisenhower matrix and I wasn't lying. And this is the moment, this is the Eisenhower matrix moment. I think I might like them more than is normal, but that's another story. If you have never used an Eisenhower matrix, dear listener, they are that fun little grid. You've seen them. There's no question in my mind, you've seen one. It's just four squares, boom, super straightforward.
Leland Gross (40:56.668)
Yeah.
Leland Gross (41:02.314)
Yes.
Arlene Moss - XYPN (she/her) (41:22.61)
And then you do the X and Y axis, axis like you can do good, you know, I'm good at this or, and I love to do this. That's a good example of like kind of picking in this realm. You know, I'm good at it. I'm good at talking. Yes, I sure am. I'm really, really good at talking. And I love talking. Yes, I do. I love talking. Okay, so podcast for Leland, right? Cause that you're way up here in this. I love it. I'm good at it. This is kind of hard to do with my hands.
Leland Gross (41:42.99)
I'm going to go.
Leland Gross (41:50.158)
Mm-hmm. Hehehehe.
Arlene Moss - XYPN (she/her) (41:53.138)
Okay, blogging, writing, you're good at it. Yeah, I bet you are. I bet you write really well. We're gonna just assume you're good at it. Do you like it? Wah, wah, nope, you hate it. So that's in a different quadrant. And you're like, okay, then I don't need to do that. I get to mark that quadrant out. There's also, I'm gonna now shift this to the broader business sense. There are gonna be things that you're not good at and you don't enjoy them. Outsource the crap out of that stuff.
Leland Gross (42:01.852)
Nope.
Leland Gross (42:20.181)
Mm-hmm
Arlene Moss - XYPN (she/her) (42:22.834)
because it's not a great use of your time to bust your butt to learn something you're really bad at when there are people in the world who can do it and love it. You want to find, you want everybody in that upper quadrant. Yeah, you go find that person. And you know, and there are people that love it. We have a joke in our family, like if there's a trip, there's a spreadsheet because I...
Leland Gross (42:26.791)
Mmm.
Leland Gross (42:33.666)
Yeah, not at the top of their Eisenhower matrix. Yeah.
Arlene Moss - XYPN (she/her) (42:50.434)
love a good spreadsheet and I love to be organized on a trip and I love to plan and I'm a big believer in that. So if there's a trip, there's a spreadsheet. No question. My husband will get somewhere and I'll be like, you didn't look at the spreadsheet. And he's like, no, I didn't. I don't care about the spreadsheet. I just need to know where we're going today. Like you're going to tell me what we're doing on this vacation and I'm ready. So that's okay. You got you find your other person.
Leland Gross (43:18.624)
Yeah.
Arlene Moss - XYPN (she/her) (43:18.89)
You know, what's your upper quadrant? So I wanna empower people to use the Eisenhower matrix. And there's, I should do a whole webinar just on Eisenhower matrix because you can use them for everything. They're wonderful. But you can't do it all. You don't need to do it all. Figure out your highest and best use. You don't wanna do it all. Yeah, excellent point.
Leland Gross (43:31.723)
Mm-hmm.
Leland Gross (43:37.462)
You don't want to do it all. I feel like that's the thing on this podcast. So many entrepreneurs come on and like, I really love this. And then I really hate bookkeeping. I don't and I'm not good at it. And I became a business owner and I wasn't ready to do the business side of it. It's like, well, that's a, that is a huge lower left quadrant thing that there are accountants and bookkeepers who they love it.
They're like, let me go through your QuickBooks for you and get it all clean and pretty. And you're like, wonderful. I couldn't hate that more. And so like, that's like totally an example of that.
Arlene Moss - XYPN (she/her) (44:15.166)
Oh my gosh, that's exactly me. When I launched my coaching business, before I had revenue dollar one, I was like, I need to find a bookkeeper. And I met this woman at networking event. And I was like, I don't have any money yet, but I want everything set up and I wanna know how to do it. Cause I don't know what I'm doing and I don't wanna actually do it. I just wanna tell you. And so she taught me like what receipts I needed to save, how I needed to save them. And you know, she just...
Leland Gross (44:35.31)
Mm-hmm.
Arlene Moss - XYPN (she/her) (44:45.398)
she handled it and I got to talk to people and coach which is the upper quadrant.
Leland Gross (44:50.27)
Yeah, and you got to do what you love about it. Yeah, totally. It's, I love the Eisenhower Matrix example. I didn't know that's what it's called, but you're right. I see them everywhere. I've literally seen you use them. So I'm like... Yeah. So this is a podcast about success, but as you know, if you ask anybody how they define success and what that means to them, it's gonna be different per person.
Arlene Moss - XYPN (she/her) (45:01.754)
Oh, I love them. I am freakishly obsessed with them. It's a little weird.
Leland Gross (45:19.498)
So for you, what does success look like for Arlene Moss? How would you define it and how will you know if you've achieved it when you'll achieve it?
Arlene Moss - XYPN (she/her) (45:31.038)
you should have given me that ahead of time. Oh did you get I missed that one if you if you gave me that in the pre-stop that's so now it's time that's such a great question for anyone who's who has not been on a podcast or listened to a panel or anything that is the classic stall answer such a great question
Leland Gross (45:33.855)
Sorry, I definitely do. I apologize.
Leland Gross (45:39.245)
No.
Leland Gross (45:44.882)
I'm sorry.
Leland Gross (45:54.558)
Yeah, like that is such a good question. Thank you so much for asking it. And let's, the thing about good questions is.
Arlene Moss - XYPN (she/her) (46:04.954)
Oh my God. Okay, I am just gonna go from the gut. I have had clearly a couple seconds of joking around to think about it. I will tell you what I tell people that I love to do work-wise, because there's personal success and work success and how do they blend. So work-wise, I feel like I am changing the world, one advisor at a time.
Leland Gross (46:18.286)
Mm-hmm. Yep.
Leland Gross (46:26.37)
Mm-mm.
Arlene Moss - XYPN (she/her) (46:29.062)
And XY also does, this is one reason I know why X-Py PN and I are so aligned, is we have this very, very similar view of the world. Like I can 10X my impact on the world. I'm not a financial planner. I don't want to be a financial planner, but good Lord, I love the value they bring to people. And I see the changes they make. One advisor at a time, or I guess in XY's case, 1700 advisors at a time. I can make that change and then you can go out.
and change the lives of all of your clients. And for many of XYPN members, because you're working with younger clients, you are making generational impacts, which is just, sometimes it blows my mind that I get to be a little pebble in this pond that just goes out, that is success. And talking to somebody like you, where you're like, I remember what you told me, blah, I'm like, oh my God.
Leland Gross (47:20.436)
Mmm.
Arlene Moss - XYPN (she/her) (47:27.07)
That is success. Like look at you now have 45 families that you are changing. Those families have children. They will grow up in a different way and that will change them. And I got to be a teeny tiny part of that. And that is, that is, oh my gosh, I'm gonna get teary eyed except no, I'm not, because it's not appropriate. And on the personal front, it's kind of similar, but definitely not exactly the same. But.
Leland Gross (47:28.41)
Mmm.
Leland Gross (47:36.814)
Mmm.
Leland Gross (47:47.214)
Yeah.
Arlene Moss - XYPN (she/her) (47:56.222)
On the personal side, I mean, I have three kids who are not kids. They're grown humans, live in their lives. They're wonderful members of society. But again, it's that ripple effect. I, I had, you know, my husband and I raised these three wonderful humans who are going to make the world a better place, each in their own little way. And then hopefully, please God, some of them will have children.
Leland Gross (48:23.85)
Hahaha
Arlene Moss - XYPN (she/her) (48:24.166)
All right, that's a joke. I'm a wannabe grandma and they're all like you're too young and we're too young Hold your horses. So so I'm that lady at church who's like ready to talk to any child, you know under the age of 18 practically But anyway, we drift but success back to that question It is it is that impact on the world through my children
Leland Gross (48:28.956)
Hey, that's great. There's a niche for wannabe grandmas, you know.
Leland Gross (48:44.728)
and love.
Yeah.
Arlene Moss - XYPN (she/her) (48:53.29)
through other children, but primarily my own children, turning them into good members of society and watching them go change the world in their own unique way. Because not all of us can be out there and be some huge famous person that's gonna be taught about in schools for generations, but all of us can make a little change that impacts the world in a positive way. And there we go. Whew.
Leland Gross (49:15.327)
Mmm.
Leland Gross (49:19.462)
Amen. Totally. And you're discounting yourself. You're not just a pebble. You're a pretty solid rock in the pond of at least my business. Yeah. But I love, yeah, I love that image of just like raising your kids and sending them out and who they're impacting and who their kids will impact and for every advisor you care for and making our businesses better so that we can care for more.
Arlene Moss - XYPN (she/her) (49:29.504)
In your pond, I am a whole rock. Yay.
Leland Gross (49:48.098)
heartbeats. Like I've heard people talk about their clients as like they're not a client, they're a person you serve, they're a heartbeat. And they have kids who are heartbeats and like you're changing generations that way. And to imagine like 1700 advisors at XYPN and all of their clients and then all of their families, like there's just, it really is, you get to have a huge impact on the world. So many of these people don't even know who are, like the clients don't know who Arlene Moss is, you know.
Arlene Moss - XYPN (she/her) (50:16.838)
Oh no, no.
Leland Gross (50:17.162)
But they don't know that they're positively impacted dramatically by, you know, like that's so cool. That is totally success. I love it.
Arlene Moss - XYPN (she/her) (50:24.006)
Yeah. And that's probably, you know, yeah, that's the thing to remember as we maneuver life is that not everyone you impact is gonna even know you exist, but that doesn't mean you can't have a positive impact.
Leland Gross (50:35.443)
Thank you.
Leland Gross (50:40.142)
Totally. Well, gosh, thank you so much for giving me so much of your time today. This conversation is incredible. And yeah, I'm just so very grateful for you. Thanks for being on the podcast.
Arlene Moss - XYPN (she/her) (50:51.558)
Thank you. This has been a real gift to me. This is, I am revved up for the rest of the day. This is what a way to lead into my weekend. I don't know if people know you record these on Fridays, but yeah, they do now. Ta-da! Thank you so much for having me. I really, really appreciate it.
Leland Gross (51:04.239)
Right now.
Leland Gross (51:12.206)
course.